Wilderness Reborn Spread #2

[Douglas Sherman]

Here is a two-page spread on short-eared owls. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

 

[AlanLichty]

Interesting to get to read some of the narrative that accompanies the images. Nice to see Joe Kayne is in on the act as well here. Is he actively assisting the project as well?

 

[Douglas Sherman]

Interesting to get to read some of the narrative that accompanies the images. Nice to see Joe Kayne is in on the act as well here. Is he actively assisting the project as well?

The writing is different than what you and I would write because we write scientifically. Stephen writes with more flourish, so he tends to get run-on sentences and fragments.

Joe is in on this and has provided a lot of the images. I'll post a spread that deals with his pleas to the forest preserve district about deer eating all of the large flowering trillium.

Thanks again for your comments, Alan.

 

[JimFox]

I just got back from an Angels baseball game, and I enjoyed reading this Doug. The accompanying photos are great as well, but I really enjoyed reading this. Very informational.

 

[Jameel Hyder]

Very informational, Doug. How much of the book is done and how big (pages) is it going to be?

 

[MonikaC]

Nice to see some of Joe's work. The writing, however, could use a good editor. I had to read some of the sentences a couple of times to figure out what he was trying to say.

 

[Douglas Sherman]

Nice to see some of Joe's work. The writing, however, could use a good editor. I had to read some of the sentences a couple of times to figure out what he was trying to say.

You hit the nail on the head, Monika. As a scientist, I squirm when I read the text. His run on sentences and fragments drive me nuts. Some writing was so bad I have made changes without telling him. I am not sure why he is such a bad writer. He is very bright.

 

[Douglas Sherman]

Very informational, Doug. How much of the book is done and how big (pages) is it going to be?

We are done with 95 pages and have three ecosystems to go. The book will be 8 1/2 by 11.

 

[MonikaC]

You hit the nail on the head, Monika. As a scientist, I squirm when I read the text. His run on sentences and fragments drive me nuts. Some writing was so bad I have made changes without telling him. I am not sure why he is such a bad writer. He is very bright.

Unfortunately, intelligence and ability to write don't necessarily go together. I used to think that a love of reading helped make one a good writer, but that's a fallacy, too. Has anyone spoken to him about working with an editor? Hopefully, your & Joe's photos will carry the book.

 

[Douglas Sherman]

Unfortunately, intelligence and ability to write don't necessarily go together. I used to think that a love of reading helped make one a good writer, but that's a fallacy, too. Has anyone spoken to him about working with an editor? Hopefully, your & Joe's photos will carry the book.

Thanks for your comments, Monika. I decided to go through this page and try to fix it. There were so many things to fix, I realized it would be hours of work before I was finished. So, I decided to use Grammarly Pro. This is the result. How does this look?

Stephen contacted me yesterday and said he didn't like the black background in Joe's image, so I switched it out to this one by Roger Bailey.

 

[MonikaC]

Thanks for your comments, Monika. I decided to go through this page and try to fix it. There were so many things to fix, I realized it would be hours of work before I was finished. So, I decided to use Grammarly Pro. This is the result. How does this look?

Stephen contacted me yesterday and said he didn't like the black background in Joe's image, so I switched it out to this one by Roger Bailey.

View attachment 81573

That's much better (though I'm sad to see Joe's intimate shot leave). I admit that I'm prejudiced against sentences in a scholarly work beginning with conjunctions. I think that in various forms of fiction, they work well when properly used. In a scholarly piece, IMHO, they should be used sparingly, if at all. Better to insert a comma before the conjunction instead of trying to be dramatic. Drama has it's place and I'm all for making otherwise dry academic pieces more palatable to the masses, but one has to decide if one is trying to write bad poetry/ sophomorically wax poetic or educate the reader. With that, I'll stop ranting.

 

[Douglas Sherman]

That's much better (though I'm sad to see Joe's intimate shot leave). I admit that I'm prejudiced against sentences in a scholarly work beginning with conjunctions. I think that in various forms of fiction, they work well when properly used. In a scholarly piece, IMHO, they should be used sparingly, if at all. Better to insert a comma before the conjunction instead of trying to be dramatic. Drama has it's place and I'm all for making otherwise dry academic pieces more palatable to the masses, but one has to decide if one is trying to write bad poetry/ sophomorically wax poetic or educate the reader. With that, I'll stop ranting.

Thanks so much, Monika. I appreciate how you feel about bad writing. As I have told you many times, your descriptions of your trips are always well written.

I'll figure out how to include Joe's image in the book. I can always change the background.

 

[Beth]

that's pretty cool. congrats on the book!