I like your edit much better! You are really starting to get the hang of it Ben.
You should just stick with your R5 for these timelapses as they have a really nice look.
Now with future ones, make sure you are capturing longer clips before changing the focallength. They were so short you almost gave my neck whiplash with it going in and out.
The absolute minimum I am doing is 12 seconds of timelapse, but almost all of mine are 30 sec clips. I can always split them shorter if I want.
What's nice about the 1 sec intervals I have been using, is its super easy to figure out how long I need to shoot to get 12 secs or 30 secs, because it then works out to the same # but in minutes instead of seconds. But on all of my cameras that do incamera Timelapse, when I set the interval and then I set How Long, it shows me in min/secs how long the clip will be.
To Mikes point about Fading the music. I Fade my music In and Out. And it's sliders on the same page where you adjusted the volume of the clip down to 50%.