My Dad

Discussion in 'Sit and Chat' started by JimFox, Oct 2, 2019.

  1. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Most if you probably know, but I know I wasn’t able to talk with everyone about my Dad but you all are family so I wanted to make sure everyone was in the loop.

    My Mom found my Dad collapsed on the bedroom floor last Thursday. Because my parents are older, my Dad is 86 and my mom is 82. I am staying in a Mother-in-law cottage basically that’s attached to the house to be able to help out, and so my mom came and got me and I drove him to the ER.

    My mom and Dad both have been in good health, my Dad was still working at the family business every day. But when we took him in, they found his lungs had issues, he had some bleeding on his brain, and when they did an Angiogram they found 4 blocked arteries.

    So he went in for surgery for the Quad Bypass Monday morning. There was risk involved because ideally they would have waited for the bleeding of the brain to clear up and the lungs to clear up, but with 90% blockage, he was at a point of Sudden Death. So the surgery was successful, he has been slowly recovering. They had removed the Ventilator he was on this morning, and he was awake and breathing on his own for several hours. He could move and talk, though it was hard to understand. But then he was starting to struggle a bit with the pain and breathing so they sedated him and put the ventilator tube back in. He is resting again now. The Dr had told us before the surgery that was a possibility. Better to have him recover restfully then struggling.

    Anyway, so if my time he has seemed sporadic and I haven’t posted much that is why. I have been here at the hospital from morning until night, 14 hours a day, and I was here 20 hours on the day of the surgery.

    I did bring my laptop today with some photos to try and edit since a lot of the time here is just sitting and waiting, but it’s 5pm and I still haven’t been able to open up my laptop.

    Thanks!

    Jim

    **** Update- My Dad passed away last Wed, Oct 9th. There is a more detailed update if you scroll down.
     
  2. AlanLichty

    AlanLichty Moderator

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    This is one scenario where the laptop can be helpful to have along. Resting time for recovery is necessary and helpful for the patient but can be stressful for the immediate family. Take some time for yourself in the middle of all of this when you can. Hang in there.....
     
  3. Ben Egbert

    Ben Egbert Forum Helper
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    Jim, that has to be really hard. Hang in there and keep us posted when it's convenient for you, and don't worry about the forum.
     
  4. Kyle Jones

    Kyle Jones Moderator

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    I'm glad you can be there for them both.
     
  5. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Thanks you guys! I finally got to process a photo tonight for the first time in 7 days while my Dad was sleeping, and it was a real soothing and relaxing feeling. So processing my photos might be good therapy!
     
  6. Jameel Hyder

    Jameel Hyder Well-Known Member

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    It’s great that you are there for your Dad. The opportunity to spend quality time with him is priceless.

    The forum and photos can wait. If that is therapy then by all means.

    Wishing good health for you all.
     
  7. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Thanks Jameel. Yeah, everyone here is a friend of mine and part family, it’s a big part of what makes FocalWorld so special. So spending time here I think is helpful for me. I have my laptop with me again today at the hospital so after I get a ham and cheese omelet from the cafeteria I will work on a photo while I am sitting with my Dad.
     
  8. Darcy Grizzle

    Darcy Grizzle Supporting Member

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    I am so happy you are there for both your mom & Dad, I am sure they really need you right now. Do remember to take some time for yourself also though as it gets tough if you don't have that. Hope your Dad recovers quickly!
     
  9. pepper

    pepper Well-Known Member

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    hoping your dad has a speedy and smooth recovery. i'm thinking of you and your family.
     
  10. BarryHamilton

    BarryHamilton Founding Member

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    Hoping all goes well, Jim! Glad you can be there with them!
     
  11. MonikaC

    MonikaC Supporting Member

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    I'm glad your dad made it through the surgery & is recovering. Hospitals are tough on everyone to spend time in. Make sure you make time for yourself so you can "be there" when needed.
     
  12. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Thanks so much Darcy. I am doing well, even with 14 hours here, the nurses love me that I can take the techinal aspects of what’s happening and explain in easy to understand terms to my mom and siblings. So I take a load off from them because they can focus on my Dad and not having to explain everything to 8+ other people.

    Plus, I have made a ton of new friends, so while it’s the hospital, I get plenty of socialization. My Dad is going through a tough time, but having a technical and analytical mind I think helps make it easier.
     
    Darcy Grizzle likes this.
  13. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Thank you! That means a lot. :)
     
  14. ckcarr

    ckcarr Founding Member

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    Sorry to hear about this Jim. I hope your dad is now on a good road to recovery now with no surprises.



    Best wishes! Craig
     
  15. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    Thanks so much Craig. It’s been a very slow recovery, but he made a big step yesterday. Hopefully the ventilator comes off today, then he will be able to talk. Yesterday was really frustrating for him as he was trying to talk and communicate but couldn’t because of the ventilator tube.
     
  16. Anatoly

    Anatoly Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear about this Jim.
    Hoping all goes well!
     
  17. JimFox

    JimFox Moderator
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    I wanted to update everyone that my Dad passed away yesterday afternoon. He had been struggling a bit the last 2 days, and in the end I think his heart just stopped. Years of working in an industrial environment had taken a toll on his lungs, it was one of the big issues he had after the successful heart bypass surgery. They were putting him back on the ventilator to help with his lungs, and while doing that his heart stopped.

    Knowing I was there the last 14 days in the hospital from sunrise until he fell asleep late at night, helps. Just last Sunday I had left at 9pm to go home for dinner and to sleep, but 45 mins after I left the nurse called me that my Dad was restless and calling for me, so I went back to the hospital and was there until midnight rubbing his back and feet to help him go back to sleep. I was able to spend 14 days swabbing my Dad's mouth out with water when his mouth was dry but he couldn't drink every 10 minutes or so, alternating with changing a cool cloth on his forehead because it helped him to feel better, to massaging his feet or sliding my hand between the hospital bed and his back to help his back feel better after laying in bed for so long. So perhaps the not the best environment, but knowing I was able to be there for him does help.

    So I will be a bit busy the next few days as we work through all of the funeral arrangements, but I will still be here as much as possible, you guys are my family and friends too, so being you helps bring comfort.
     
  18. AlanLichty

    AlanLichty Moderator

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    I am very sorry to hear of your loss but it is comforting to know that you were able to be there to help when it was needed the most.

    Thanks for keeping us updated and please accept our deepest sympathy for your loss.
     
  19. Ben Egbert

    Ben Egbert Forum Helper
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    I am extremely sorry to hear this Jim, I suspect those 14 days meant the world to your dad and I am glad you had them. Take your time getting through the next phase and we will try to fill the vacuum here.
     
  20. MonikaC

    MonikaC Supporting Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear this, but at least your dad had good care from you and the staff in his last days. Please take good care of yourself.
     

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